Matthew Knott

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My HOMO plan

Posted on Wednesday, 15 October 2008 09:40

We I move into the new house, I'm using it as a premature oportunity for change (prior to new years of course). Allow me to explain my homo resolutions to you. ( n.b. homo: health oportunity / monetary oportunity ) 

1. Breakfast

Some say it's the most important meal of the day, I say they're all important, so is the snacking in between them.

Everyday, I have breakfast in work (egg on toast usually if you must know), and whilst this is relatively cheap, I need to cut it out, or at least reduce it to a hot chocolate.

The problem with the canteen here is that they don't serve breakfast until 9:45! Who has breakfast in this timezone at 9:45. Anyway, as such, arriving at 7:25 everyday means that I'm hungry for the first 2 1/2 hours of the working day, thus not being as productive as I could be. So, my first homo is to make myself breakfast every morning.

Homo monthly saving: £40

2. Lunch

Yes, another homo that revolves around food. I currently go to tesco most days, buy a sandwich, orange juice, and maybe a little something on the sweet side. It's actually fairly healthy I think, just not on my wallet, 

My second homo is to make lunch the night before and bring it in.

Homo monthly saving: £50 - 60

3. Exercise / Diet

It's an ugly word, but something has to be done. I thought running up to the fourth floor canteen was all the exercise I needed, but I was wrong.

I'm going to start back on the Weightwatchers, hopefully Lisa will too, and start wii fitting, not much but gradually, I'm hoping that running around with Michael will ultimately be all the exercise I need.

Homo benefit: Live longer, loose weight, be more comfortable.

4. Go to bed earlier

One of my goals is to establish a better sleep pattern, and specifically do less before bed, no exciting games, no programming, no bright ideas, no cheese, and no Die Hard.

5. Do more DIY

It's easy to get comfortable in a half finished house, this won't happen to me. I'm going to be laying bricks, paining, filling, sanding and generally making better use of myself.

Homo benefit: Greater sense of self worth, nicer home.

6. Make a plan, stick to it

I need to write down certain key tasks and stick to it. This includes showering, making lunch for work, spending time with the kids, relaxing, working on businessy type stuff, working on my own development, cleaning, cooking, and checking the bank.

I'm going to stop ignoring my credit card statements as well and have a concerted effort to pay it off (£600 to go! Big spender I know, it's a lot to me okay!).

Homo benefit: Less debt long term, more disposable income.

 

I'd like to think I can get more people to join the HOMO plan, or as I like to say to people, come on, be a HOMO!

Homo-ism is deffiinitely the way forwards!

Comments

  • Right..., posted by DemetrieOK, I've let this go on for long enough, but enough is ENOUGH.

    In no particular order:

    1) What mind altering drugs have they started feeding you in the council (or is it something in the water in Aberdickwipe or wherever the hell backwater hicksville that you've moved to) that makes you think its ok to use the word 'homo' in the fashion that you have?

    2) re: PS3:
    i) 'Goes against the grain but I think, long term it's the best option.'
    WHY does it go against the grain? How long term is it the best option?
    ii) 'I planing on borrowing my brother-in-laws xbox 360 for the bulk of the gaming and when that's over I'll switch to the ps3.'
    WTF??? How on earth is it the best long term option if you're going back to another console to play games?
    iii) '...and I like the fact that I can install Linux as a second OS option, so I can turn it into a truely universal media player.'
    SHUT UP, nobjock. What's your definition of 'truly universal media player'? You know as well as I do that (with the exception of Blu-Ray, which is a null and void argument) that the 360 can handle anything that's thrown at it (admittedly with a little encouragment, but WITHOUT needing to install another bleeding OS to do it!)

    3) Speelchek. It's not hard. What the fuck is an 'oportunity' when its at home? Or 'truely'. Call yourself a content manager? Me neither.

    4) 'I'm going to start back on the Weightwatchers, hopefully Lisa will too, and start wii fitting, not much but gradually, I'm hoping that running around with Michael will ultimately be all the exercise I need.'
    i) Wow, what with all that energetic sitting around with a load of fat women, farting about on your Wii and 'running around' with an infant (that, correct me if I'm wrong, can't even walk himself yet), the weight will be just dropping off, after all I'm pretty sure that this year's bestselling diet book was called 'The sitting around talking with fat women, farting about on your Wii and running around with an infant Plan - guaranteed to make you lose BUGGER ALL'

    You've changed, sonny boy - I don't know what sort of benders you're hanging around with in the council, but there's obviously no-one with a dick big enough to shut you up.

    You're a dirty racist, and that's all there is to it.

    Lots of love,

    Dim
  • lol, posted by MatthewYou made me cry in a good way, I miss you!

    But I can't let this go unchecked, Get some Cock and come back with a better attitude. Stop licking Bobs arse, stop the cat licking yours (I know you love the sandpapery texture and moistness giving you sweet, sweet relief).

    Sure, your cat can piss and shit in a human toilet, big fucking wow, I taught a hamster to read, the talking is another job, but that little furry bastard can read!

    I'd like to use a spell check, but some times, shit comes to me and I need to write it down, and to be fucking honest, that whole homo business, see it, see it??? That, was for you! You, you sod, I thought, "Homo, it's just what dim would want to see. That'll tickle him in ways he loves to be tickled.". Guess I was pretty fucking wrong.

    I look up to you like a midget to, well, everything. But I guess the best analogy is that I'm a stinky turd festering in the bowl looking up to you the godly sweaty blood-stained arse!

    What's this 1,2,3 business can't you count to 10 you spastic.
  • Be careful what you post!, posted by NeilMat,

    Have you noticed that since you have put HOMO and same sex marraige comments on your site you have attracted gay website adverts via google.....nice!

    i have to admit....I am not suprised that you have hit the weightwatchers again.....how many times did you start/end it at Matrix court?

    Let's be honest, the food/money thing has never been your forte....c'mon you always let the stomach rule, you can't give in....Besides that, people do need excersice!

    Hope your well and Dims comments made me laugh.

    Neil

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