Trying to stay positive
Posted on Wednesday, 21 October 2009 22:22These are tough times for me, emotionally, mentally and financially. I've been on the ropes for several weeks now.
After undoubtedly the hardest week so far, I find myself starting to go looking for positives where none present themselves.
I can go on about the bulk of my problems but they're no different to millions of other people around the world, low on money, and motivation. What's been especially hard is last week, having a very ill son, and this week having a very ill wife.
There comes a point where you feel you spend every moment dodging disaster, patching up a sinking ship, and in the end feel like standing up and saying "here I am mother fucker, come and get me".
Michael was suffering with a number of infections and after a course of antibiotics developed a terrible case of thrush head-to-toe. He still has traces of it but is back to his old self. At the peak he refused food and drink, an upsetting a difficult time to get through.
As if that wasn't stressful enough, Lisa's face started swelling up on Sunday night, but being pregnant she's no stranger to random swellings. Monday morning, about 4 AM, she came into the bedroom from the bathroom with the worst case of swelling I've ever seen. Her face had puffed out massively at the sides, caused by what turned out to be Mumps.
At 4 AM this morning she had to go to hospital because her breathing was so badly hampered by the swelling. I found this hard as I stayed with he baby and was really worried about what was happening to her. She came back about 6:30. The hospital were unable to do anything. All they could offer was insertion of a tube into her throat, but that would require admittance and they advised against that as she would likely catch something even worse. Very reassuring.
Anyway, it appears that was the peak of the problem as when I came home tonight, the swelling had significantly reduced and it's continuing to subside, I'm so relieved.
Other problems I've had are around progressing my business, it's hard being patient, but I'm using a break in work to create an online tool to help me manage the client interaction process.