Matthew Knott

The greatest pain, not physically, but emotionally, must be when you're unable to realise the grand ideas you conjure up. Okay, maybe a tad dramatic, and I guess the answer is fairly simple.

No it's not the greatest pain, but it's still rankles when you possess maybe 5% of the skill needed to achieve something, but nowhere near enough the skill to go all the way.

Okay two sentences in I'm still wondering how I can turn this late night, bad stomach induced unplanned rise from bed and subsequent brain fart into something resembling an interesting or even coherent post, but then that hasn't stopped me before.

In my life, so far there are several dreams I have that I doubt I'll realise. Perhaps therein lies the problem, I doubt myself. The teachers were right, I need to apply myself better. Some people believe anyone can do anything if they work hard enough. These people are usually the lucky few who can do almost anything they set their minds to, others, through whatever combination of reason are indifferent, hard-to-motivate, concentration losing bastards like me.

So here's my list of things I really really would love to do (Excluding my life-size replica of the Millennium Falcon, some dreams are best left unfulfilled).

• Write a novel that someone would actually enjoy
• Get my screenplay for Frank Herberts "Dune" made into a movie *
• Write a screenplay for Frank Herberts "Dune"
• Make a game for the xbox along the lines of Elite
• Make an MMORPG for the iPad that is actually quite fun and cool to play

* Note David Lynch, yes, you do cult as easily as you blink, but you're version of Dune was so far removed from the book you may as well have guessed what the book was about and filmed that. I know you read this blog.

Novel

I've always loved writing, and always wanted to write a book. I've started many a time, but after the first few pages I realise I have no idea where I'm going with it, or worry it may be too similar to something else, and I stop. The other sad thing is I tend to get bored, so how will the reader feel.

It's just one of those things that, as someone who always seems to be craving approval and acceptance, I've dreamt would be the best feeling of all. To create something people enjoy and embrace. Something that creates a vision in peoples mind, paints a picture sort-of-thing.

Dune

I love Dune, it's my favourite book of all time. In my late teens I could recite bits of that book word for word, I still remember the Bene Geserit litany against fear (Yes, I know that's sad, and it doesn't work either, I've tried). All I want is to see someone realise Frank Herberts vision and so far, all who have tried have failed. Miserably. The Dune TV miniseries had promise, but alas a low budget and some really shite plat changes meant it was terrible.

Just give me James Cameron or Ridley Scott, £100,000,000 budget, and some damn fine Shakespearian actors and I'll give you the greatest thing since Peter Jackson read Tolkein. There will be no silly shields, no machine guns, no weird aliens, just some brutal battles and better knife fights that the end of "Under Siege". If you want a cast, well, I don't know right now, Russell Crowe as Stilgar, the guy from naboo with the big beard in Episode 1 as Liet Keynes. The rest would come in time, but it would be the biggest blockbuster ever whilst being well acted and directed, so the opposite to anything Jerry Bruckheimer would do.

Games

I love playing games, and god knows I get pleanty of ideas for games, but, as much as I can develop the idea into as detailed a document as you could ever wish for, I could never create the world in my mind. Moreover I don't think I could trust people to create it for me. My visions and dreams seem to be non-transferable. So often I see things but just can't seem to manifest them into something tangible.

I guess the common theme here is that I'm a very creative person just with no skill to actually create anything worth while.