Matthew Knott

Not one of his finest works I'm sure but I've just watched Lee Kerns Big Brother: What they did next. Yes Big Brother is bollocks but Lee Kerns super dry sense of humour made this compelling viewing.

I then went to his website, http://www.twinklebum.co.uk/ and although simple in design (is there any design there I'm not sure), and fair play, I cried laughing at his "Legal aid lawyer pretending to be an aeroplane". Go check it out, he's a comic genius.

Tags: Film Comedy Lee Kern Documentary Maker Creative Dry Hilarious

A. As long as you, the author, get something from it, it's never useless.

This was a question I forced upon myself after thinking, "I haven't written on my blog for a while". I then thought, why should I force a post out of myself, after all, as the old saying goes, If you don't have anything good to say don't say anything at all.

This isn't one of those blogs with an avid reader base, just a couple of people I'm proud to call friends, some are more than friends (You know who you are big D you animal). Likewise, this is not a blog on any specific topic, it is my general melting pot for ideas and emotions, and letting people know what's going on. Many blogs may have delusions of being more than this, but in reality, this is all that they are, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I think some blogs should be regular news sites, some news sites blogs, some cats dogs and so on, you get the picture. Blogs should always be born out of the desire to write one's ideas down on electronic paper. They provide an invaluable services as I've said before, they lend a helping ear and a sympathetic hand (just like big D). If you loose these core values and try to force the posts then ultimately they will boil into a repelling force that discourages and suppresses you, reversing the reason you set up the blog in the first place.

I love my blog. I have no practical artistic skills, I can't build houses, paint beautiful vistas, compose or play music,  or sculpt. My artistic output is in my computer design and my coding. As such this blog is a work of art, it's merits or derogatory factors all stem from me and are all a matter of interpretation from the point of view of the critic, the viewer or reader if you will.

I think I'll get a line of t-shirts for people who want to be attacked that says I love my blog. That's the front, the back will just say "Dirty C*nt". Yes I may have gone too far but I didn't expect anyone would read this far. That brings me onto comedy as a defense mechanism.

No seriously.

I've always compensated for a total inability to socially interact with people by using comedy, at first it was at my expense, then the expense of others, then the expense of loved ones, now it's a healthy mix of racism and homophobia the three.

Unlike some comedy products I'm not that funny. Although I think that's based on the audience. Take Demetrie for example, I craved (and still do) his opinion on everything from films to fatherhood. My average day in IBM would feel complete if I could get a hearty laugh from him. To get a laugh from such a seasoned comedy viewer and entertainer is sometimes as difficult as it would be to shock him through the medium of gore. To get a laugh you have to remove nearly all sense of write and wrong. This type of comedy for me is quite easy. It's getting harder to reapply my morals all the time and subsequently I have a tendancy to cause upset, bemusement, long silences and mental scarring.

The type of comedy I found least rewarding was where I'd fall down or otherwise injure myself to create ammusement for others. This phase happened mainly in my early teens when acceptance and integration seemed more poiniant.

What I realised long ago but never admitted was that for me, being funny in groups and out and about is a metaphor for the foetal position and also the only way I can think of to start a dialog with people. I believe that ultimately I have no social skills, a huge inferiority complex and a terrified attitude to most men.

I'm litterally terrified of most blokes I don't know. I think I'm probably scared they'll hit me or something, don't ask why because I haven't worked that out yet. This is one of the reasons most of my good friends are girls. I feel so much more relaxed around them. This has always been the case, it's only when I tried to chat up a grl that i'd have a problem. This again is when inappropriate humour and humourless humour surface, because my conversational skills would evaporate.

I suppose I spend most of my life being afraid, it's tiring after a while. Afraid of people, afraid of the law, afraid of money, afraid of working hard on something that matters. What does it all mean though?

One day I'll find the words to write about the shit I've been through in my life, and yes, it's at that point, I'll be overwhelmed by the realisation that yes, life is not easy, but what the hell do I have to complain about, really. That realisation will fill me with the zeal and self righteousness to go out and help people who are moaning because they only had a 3% pay increase, see that there really is nothing to complain about in the western world.

Hopefully, the last paragraph shows that even as I try to talk about something serious and emotionally painful, I break into black comedy. 

Tags: Blog Family Fear Comedy Blogging Anxiety Terror Black Life Care Love Hate Dogs Fish Sparrows